I started writing this about 2 months before she was born. Just now found it on my old phone- so glad i did! Funny- parts of it were like premonitions into the future of what’s going on now.

I still want to print this out and put it in her baby book for her to maybe read when she’s grown up. 
May 2013.
Dear daughter-I-do-not-have-yet;
Lily-Rain Snyder:

Lily- purity and innocence
Rain- an abundance of blessings.

And you are a blessing/mommy’s miracle child.

You will be my perfect. You will be my everything. You will be my proudest moments in one small person. You will be made in passion, love,randomness,  boredom, or maybe anger, or maybe even desperation for another life. But that won’t matter. What matters is what you will be made INTO. –
An amazing human being with the ability to change the world .

You will have Daddy’s hair and his nose, and my eyes and my smile, the smile that happens not because someone with a camera told you to or to fake joy to others, but because you’re genuinely happy!
But you will have your very own heart and will be full of all the things that give you your own…. you-ness.
Whether you sing in the bath, wear glittery bright green nail polish or make Valentines for everyone in your class or give your last homemade chocolate chip oatmeal cookie( i make the best- but you know that by now :)) to the little boy sitting alone at recess.

I will write you poems and stories about how you are my miracle. I will read them to you sometimes, just to remind you.
As you grow, not a day will go by that I’m not thankful for everything you are. You will be dazzling and beautiful and brilliant and caring and loving and compassionate to all and playful and curious and all of the things I & many others are too scared to be. 
Whatever it is that makes you you & who youre meant to be in this world.

You will learn how to dance before you can walk. I will teach you numbers by counting the stars in the sky.
I will teach you colors from the world around you – “look, the sky is Mommy’s favorite color today.”
You will absorb everything – the sounds, the lights – through your skin like a salve.

When you are born, your Daddy will cry because he’s never seen anything so beautiful. Hopefully we are still all together surrounded by love and caring. But….
While He may not love me forever, but he will never have any doubts about you. “Look,” he’ll say the very first time he holds you, showing you this overwhelming, carzy,sad,magnificent world outside the window, “all this is yours.”

Growing up is not an easy thing. But remember that it’s okay to not know. It’s okay to just take it as it comes. People will come and go, and make you laugh and break your heart. Make you happy and make you angry.
There might be someone who crumples your smile like a used tissue. But promise me you’ll never stop loving, no matter how much it hurts. 
Because someday there will be someone and/or something who makes you love like you never thought possible.

You will be my warrior, my brave flower, my Lily Rain. Stand strong when storms are raging.   Be yourself no matter what happens. You are perfect the way you ARE. Screw the “haters”. Never regret anything even the bad stuff will lead to a better future. No regrets. Easier said than done. Trust me I know!  It will be/get better.
When people pour lies and hurtful words into your ears, I will come along with a sieve and replace them with what is true.

You will make the world a better place, simply by being a part of it. You will take the sunny days and collect them for rainy ones. You will prove to your daddy what love is. You will discover every day that life is going to be confusing and scary and wonderful, but I know you’ll go through it all with a smile, the smile that happens not because someone with a camera told you to or to fake happiness to others around you , but because you’re genuinely happy. Happy with what you have in your own life at this moment.

When pulling petals from a flower, remember that the answer will always be “she loves me.”

#Mommyhood #lilyrain #formydaughter






Posted from wherever we are!


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